Yesterday made 4 months of no dating and I didn't really notice. It crossed my mind at one point but then I forgot until I slowed down when I laid my head down to sleep last night. That's then the weight of things I've been carrying around hit me.
I found myself lonely and tired last night wondering how the father of my boys could just walk away. How can someone refuse to visit their kids and pretend to be a good parent? I married him, so I blame myself for letting him be the father of my children.
And now I'm alone trying to do it all with some assistance from my parents.
I'm not even trying to meet anyone.
A couple of people I know have had success with online dating, but I still can't stomach the idea of it. And I hope to move this summer and don't want to meet anyone here who would thwart that plan.
What I should do is to meet up with some girlfriends for dinner and a night out. But between work and school, I'm short on time and energy those friendships deserve.
Something has to give....besides me.
I guess the silver lining is I made it 4 months without dating without the pressure I felt when I tried before.
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