"Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." - John 8:32
You hear this phrase a lot. It was in my boys' devotion book last night and one of my devotions this morning. I had some ideas about what it means, but I thought I should explore the Biblical context of it more.
In the verses leading up to John 8:32, Jesus has been trying to tell the Jews who he is. They don't believe he is God's Son.
To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." John 8:31-32
The Jews tell him they aren't in bondage to anyone and never have been. Jesus goes on to clarify that they are slaves to sin. The truth he encourages them to know is his example of living His Father's word. As God's Son, he offers freedom from the bondage of sin.
Have you accepted Jesus as the Savior who died for your sins? Maybe you have but there is still some sin you are a slave to. Is it envy? Deceit? Gossip? Anger? Unforgiveness? How is it holding you back? Maybe you need God to reveal to you the area of your life that needs improvement.
Take time this week to recognize and work on one sin that has you in bondage. Be set free!
Four days ago I was struggling. I did the tough thing and let the guy know it felt too much like dating. I let him know that the point of 6 month without dating was to learn to lean on God and not expect a man to solve my problems. He seemed disappointed but was kind and said that I needed to do what was right for me.
Not dating has given me a chance to reflect on things. It's hard to admit mistakes, but I can admit I never should have dated Mr. X. He showed me who he was two weeks into dating. I should have believed him.
It's been a month of growth and challenges and seeing God at work. I have been relying more on God, but at the same time, I think I could be spending more time with Him. It's something I will continue to work on.
The best part is being in a better place emotionally. The saying "let go and let God" sounds trite when offered as advice from well-meaning people. One month further down the road in my journey of life, I can see the truth in that phrase. God can handle anything so much better than I can if I will let Him.
What a stressful week! On top of writing my first paper due for a grad school class this summer, I found myself feeling weak about my no-dating pledge.
"Knight in Shining Armor" suggests changing the way dating is viewed. Instead of dating to get to know someone, first we should get to know someone before dating. Yes, I realize that the point of the first few dates to get to know whether or not someone is worthy of taking things further. I'm trying to get a different result, so I'm trying to embrace the idea in the book.
A very interested man has started pursuing me. I have a list of qualities I'm looking for in my knight, so I casually and cautiously began inquiring about these things. I told him about my no-dating pledge. He said he didn't understand but that people were different, so he could respect that. I explained that I liked the idea of getting to know someone without the pressure of a goodnight kiss or holding hands. He has said repeatedly that he's fine taking things slow for now and doesn't want to pressure me.
We have text some during the day, but then he wanted to talk on the phone or get together in the evening. I put him off a couple of times, but I can tell he wants more. It has started to feel like dating of old. That is not where I want to be. I asked to take a couple of days off from contact - no texting and no phone calls. He kindly agreed.
It would be so easy to run to the arms of someone new, especially when he's showing me attention that was lacking in my last relationship. But part of the point of not dating is to learning to lean on God and not another man.
I'm meeting a friend for lunch later this week. She pointed out that if he's the right guy, he will be here in 6 months. I can see that I need to break off contact with this guy. It's hard to walk away from potential.
Today I heard a message about the prodigal son. It's a story I've hear many times before, but it's amazing how you can still glean something new.
Mostly importantly, it was a reminder of our Heavenly Father's love for us. He's given us free will to take what we have and squander it like the youngest son. But if we confess our failures to Him, He will forgive us and welcome us home with open, loving arms.
Oh give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; for his steadfast love endures forever! Psalm118:1
Sometimes it's easy to see how God has provided for you. Other times you have to be intentional about seeing the good instead of dwelling on the bad.
Did you make a list of ways to love yourself? If so, have you stopped to see how you are doing? I have to say I'm doing pretty well. Yes, it's only been a couple of weeks, but it encourages me to continue when I see the progress I've made.
1. I'm still running. My knees may have other plans, but for now I'm sticking with it. Plus I like that I lost 5 pounds in the first 2 months of jogging.
2. I'm attempting to open all my mail when it arrives, but sometimes it sneaks into my "in" basket without me seeing it. That's one I will have to continue to work out. Yes, it sounds like a simple thing, but I find it challenging to stay ahead of the piles.
3. I've done several small things that are special for me. This weekend I'm going to take a painting class, go to a concert and order a comforter for my bed that I've been eyeing. It happens to be a child-free weekend, so I'm going to maximize my "me" time.
4. I've continued to make time for friends. The time with them usually takes my mind off my problems. It's good to relax and unwind with them.
Maybe you haven't made a list of ways to love yourself. Instead make a list of things you've accomplished in life. Remember what your life was like before something went wrong. Or maybe nothing terrible has happened but you need encouragement.
Try making a list of all the cities/countries you have visited, concerts you have seen, or special events you were part of. If you are struggling to find something worth writing down, look for ways to change that. Where can you plug in? Where can you volunteer time? Life is full of possibilities!
My boys and I started a new habit this year of devotion time together before bed. What they don't realize is how many times the message is as much for me as it is for them.
When I opened the book last night, the title for the devotion was "It Feels Good to Obey and Forgive." I couldn't help but smile. I read the words to my boys about doing the right thing by forgiving other people and how you'll feel good knowing you're obeying God. I felt myself smile even more.
That's when it hit me.
I was smiling.
Two weeks earlier I had read a devotion about forgiving others and fought back tears because I knew what God was asking me to do. I had wrestled with God many nights in the wee hours of the morning. It wasn't fair that I had to be the one to ask for and offer forgiveness when the other person wasn't sorry at all.
Last night I found myself smiling because my feelings had finally caught up. The joy I expected to feel the day before in the midst of my faithfulness had finally shown up. And I was filled with hope.
Have you ever had those times when you wondered if God was there? Did He even hear your prayers? Then something happens and it's like God is winking at you saying, "I am letting you know I hear you."
I've wondered about that recently. I have seen Him around me, but I haven't been so sure He was talking to me. He winked at me several times today.
I left my grandmother's house about an hour and a half away and decided to find a church to visit on the way home. I made it all the way back to my current hometown before stopping. I had a passed a church and felt prompted to visit. Honestly, I considered skipping and going to see a friend. But I felt convicted to go to church, so I turned around and went to the place I was prompted to visit. It was going to work out well since they had just started their morning service.
That's when I saw Mr. X's car. Why would God want me to come to church here?
When we entered the sanctuary, I saw him sitting on the left in the back row, so I took the boys over to the right side. I was praying and trying to focus on why God wanted me there. Then the preacher began reading the parable of the unforgiving servant from Matthew 18. How much has God forgiven me? Can't I forgive Mr. X? God was winking because I have prayed about this subject many times recently.
Tears quietly streamed down my cheeks as I scrambled to find a napkin in my purse. I couldn't look over his way. Our eyes had already met once during the offering with both of us waving a feeble hello. He probably wasn't looking at me anyways, but I didn't want him to think I was crying over him. Maybe some of those tears were about him though.
The preacher continued his sermon emphasizing not letting one more day go by without forgiveness. It was like God was blinking both eyes as if to say, "Hey, I mean you!" The preacher continued on to say we are told before making an offering to reconcile with our brothers. This same scripture was in my Knight book, which in this passage emphasized forgiving, reconciling and unconditionally loving someone who is holding you back from reaching the hem of Jesus. I desperately want to get to Jesus, even if it's only to touch his hem! Again, God was winking.
I knew what I had to do. I've never seen Mr. X move so quickly as he did heading to his car today. With kids in tow, I chased him down. After ignoring me the first time I called his name, he turned around and said hello. The boys ran up to hug him. I asked him to wait as I quickly ushered them to the car.
With air conditioning running, boys were situated in the car. Tears streamed down my cheeks again as I took a deep breath to say my piece. I told him I had truly loved him. He said he had loved me too. I told him I wanted him to be it. He said he did too. I said I was sorry for trying to change him. He said I wasn't getting what I wanted and that's what people do. I said it wasn't my job to change him and I was sorry for that. He said it was okay and that it just didn't work. I told him that was all I wanted to say. He patted me on the back and left.
Cold. No apology for anything he did. And that hurt.
The author of the Knight book said loving someone unconditionally means not expecting anything from them - not even an apology when they have hurt you.
So I have to trust that God is pleased. I did what He asked. And it's more important to please Him than any man. I'm hoping God winks at me again before bedtime tonight.
After my divorce five years ago, the ring finger on my left hand felt naked. I could have rushed into another relationship for the sake of having someone. That didn't feel right any more than the divorce.
The loss of the ring wasn't about losing a piece of jewelry. It wasn't a big flashy rock but a simple trio of diamonds that had belonged to his grandmother. The loss of the ring was about loss of commitment. That was the difficult part.
I decided to buy myself a ring. Actually, I bought myself three rings. It wasn't an engagement ring or wedding ring, but pretty cocktail rings with semi-precious stones I could wear on my left hand so I didn't feel so exposed. I called it my "I-Don't-Need-a-Man-to-Buy-Me-a-Ring" Ring.
As time passed, I didn't feel the need to wear one as often. One night I talked to a lady who was going through a break-up of her own. I gave her the ring I was wearing because sometimes other women need to be reminded that they don't have to have a man just to get a ring. What women really want isn't the ring but the commitment behind the ring.
My most recent break-up was a tough one because we were discussing marriage. He had mentioned growing old together. He had bought a ring. The commitment wasn't there. But God is always there. It's time to commit more to Him. He will never leave us or forsake us.
And I'm going to buy myself another ring....maybe two.
Note: Both rings pictured above are available on ebay from aasilverlining. I am not trying to promote one seller over another. I am partial to the styles available from this seller. Please feel free to shop anywhere you like for a ring that makes you smile.
Loving other people sounds simple enough, but think of it in light of how you love yourself. Clearly a lot of people don't love themselves or they would be a whole lot happier and wouldn't work so hard to make other people miserable.
I've been thinking about ways to love myself, especially with my newly found free time that isn't dedicated to pleasing someone else. Time to refocus on taking care of me! Maybe you are looking for ways to love on yourself too. I made a list of several things I want to accomplish in life. Here are some things I decided to start doing first.
1. Restart something that has fallen by the wayside. I decided to start jogging again. I was hoping to get rid of some of the jiggle, which has definitely improved over the last two months. Today a high school classmate issued a challenge for people to join her for a half marathon. I've never run that far, but I'm willing to try!
2. Make an improvement in your life that you've been meaning to do. This doesn't have to be something big. Maybe you want to balance your checkbook more often. I want to start opening my mail as soon as it arrives so I don't end up with large piles to sort through every month. It's not a big project, but it will reduce clutter which is helpful.
3. Do something special for yourself. With 2 small boys, it's easy to put me on the back burner. Factor in a boyfriend, and that time for myself shrinks even more. As I said, there's more time to focus on me now. Get that massage you've been wanting. Try a new hairstyle. What is something you have put off doing because you were busy meeting everyone else's needs?
4. Spend time with friends. Evenings are busy trying to feed kids and get them ready for bed. However, lunch is a great time for me to catch up with friends. Maybe the opposite is true for you. Plan a special girls weekend away even if it's only a morning out to get pedicures and eat brunch.
Just because one phase of life has ended doesn't mean life has ended. It means you have new opportunities. You don't have to fix it all in a day, a week, or a year. Take your time and love yourself!
