I reinstated my dating profile, and the messages started flowing in. I felt uncertain about trying to date again. I let several days pass while I sat on my feelings. Twiddling my thumbs at home isn't helping me meet people, so I answered a couple of the messages.
One of the guys got frustrated that I didn't answer immediately. He could see I was on the dating website. He assumed that I was ignoring him because his next message to me was that it looked like I was too busy on the site to respond and that it was nice chatting with me. I let him know I was sidetracked by my kids and nice chatting with him too.
No one needs that kind of pressure. Even if it hadn't been my kids, I might have stopped looking at the site to check laundry. Or I might have been considering a thoughtful response. Give people a chance to reply. What his response showed me is that he is self-centered. Thanks for saving me from you!
And that guy's response reminded me that I really don't feel like dating again right now. It's not that I relive it with each telling the way I used to. I'm just tired of thinking about it.
I am shaped by my past, but it doesn't define my future.
Yes, I want to meet someone special, but I don't think that's going to happen online for me. That night I deleted my profile and found myself back at square one.
Another option is to join a Bible study group. No, I don't plan to do this to find someone to date. It would be nice to get out and meet other adults besides the ones where I work. Plus it would be nice to connect with other believers. Between my school schedule and more parents' work, I'm not sure how I will be able to do that unless childcare is provided.
There are running groups along the Coast I would like to join. The exercise would help lift my overall mood. Additionally, it would give me an opportunity to meet new people. Unfortunately, I have the same problem of school and work schedules.
I know I need to do something differently to get a different result. The question remains of what to do.
