I'm the helper. What do you do when the man you are with decides he would rather be alone?
Not dating has given me some free time. I have found a way to fill the void with school, kids, work, running, and friends, which doesn't leave much time for reflecting. I think I subconsciously filled this time with activities to avoid thinking.
Over the 4th of July holiday, I had some down time. I'm starting to think I am better off alone - at least for now. I don't want anyone else to walk out on my boys. The best way to avoid that is not to get involved. I have friends who waited to date to protect their kids. One even waited until her kids left for college to remarry.
I think about all that goes into getting to know someone again. I think about taking another year and a half to get to a place where I think marriage is truly an option. I think about what I really do or don't want to deal with in future relationships. I'm not excited about ex-wives and visitation weekends. I have enough to handle on my own. I'd like that someone who can love just us. Maybe I need to rethink my expectations.
Perhaps I will feel differently at the end of my 6-months-no-dating period, but I'm leaning towards staying single for a while. We were created for relationships, but this might be a season of singleness for me.
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