6-Months-No-Dating {Back to Your Regularly Scheduled Program}

If you give a man enough time, he will show you who he truly is.

Some show you sooner than others. It looks like most men in my life will show me within 3 months which is good because I'd rather not waste time.

My dude turned out to be a dud. He gave me an ultimatum the week before Thanksgiving that I wasn't willing to meet. Then he completely disappeared for a week and came back with a pitiful story about accidentally erasing my contact info while talking to his mom. It was so ridiculous!

Yet, I am the giver of 1,000 chances and allowed him to darken the doorstep of my office again.

I didn't go to lunch with him again, but he did text and stop by my office to talk. He offered to take me on a romantic dinner to apologize for his stupidity and offered to fix the brakes on my car.

But the truth about who he is came roaring forward, too loud to ignore. It turns out he was telling his same stories about his girls and how he helps people and about his trailer burning down to a girlfriend of mine. That is how it started with us. Building the story about how he is a good guy before inviting me to lunch.

That was enough truth for me to cut him and all his lies from my life. 

What I have learned is that my gut instincts are right if I will just listen to them. Those nagging feelings in the back of my mind were there for a good reason.

I started counting myself as single again that Monday the week before Thanksgiving, which means I've been single for a month now. I'm not putting a self-imposed, no-dating restriction this time. I will go with the flow and trust my instincts.

6-Months-No-Dating {Still Derailed}

So I guess this post isn't so much about not dating as when I started to blog. I'm not sure how much I learned in my few months of not dating. I do  have boundaries. I am struggling to keep them, but I am so far.

Everyone wants to matter to someone. It's hard to turn away from someone paying attention to you even when you can see that some things don't quite add up. And I wonder if I am leaving enough room for imperfections or too much room for bad behavior.

The truth always shakes out...eventually.

6-Months-No-Dating {EPIC FAIL....and I Don't Care}

A month ago I reached the halfway mark and thought I had broken my two-week cycle of getting out of something that felt like dating. 

Well, I was wrong. 

It started as lunch and grew into something more. But I decided not to buck things and just go with the flow.

Does this mean I gave up on God? Hardly. Does it mean I need a man more than God? Not at all. 

Honestly, I was struggling with an existential crisis. Turning 40 and not being where I want to be in life hit me harder than I would like to admit. I didn't want to be alone for my birthday (even though my friend and I didn't do anything super special for my birthday because I spent it with family). 

There are times in life when you want or need an actual person. I needed one and he was there. 

Am I using him? I would say no because I am genuinely interested in him. I couldn't spend much time alone with a guy unless I could see potential for more. Yet, there is some nagging feeling in the back of my mind that maybe I'm overlooking something I shouldn't. Maybe that's traces of the old relationship still lingering. 

Perhaps that tingling feeling is my subconscious telling my head what my heart doesn't want to hear. 

Motivation Monday {Mending a Broken Heart}

18 The Lord is close to the brokenhearted
    and saves those who are crushed in spirit. - Psalm 34:18

One day you wake up and that dull ache in your heart is gone. One day you realize you no longer miss them the way you used to. One day you realize that God has given you new hope

Thank you, God, that one day is finally here. 

6-Months-No-Dating {Halfway There}

Today marks three months since I made the decision not to date. It has been a bumpy ride, but I finally seem to have broken free from my roller coaster two-week cycle. I have made my boundaries clear to the men in my life and I'm sticking with it!

Friday Reflections {Are You Weary or Renewed?}

Have you taken time this week to rest in God? Are you feeling renewed today or weak and weary?

Motivation Monday {Running the Race}

But those who hope in the Lord
    will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
    they will run and not grow weary,
    they will walk and not be faint. Isaiah 40:31 NIV

Some days we find ourselves physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually worn down. Sometimes it's because one trickles down to the other. Early mornings mean being physically and mentally drained which can lead to being emotionally drained. Sometimes it seems to be piling on, threatening to overwhelm and pull you under.

Find a moment, especially on these overwhelming days, to lean into God and rest.

Close your eyes a moment. Feel that?

Soak in His love. Renew your strength. Find a way to keep pressing on.