I made it through my month-long manbattical with no trouble. Between moving and school, I didn't have time to worry about being alone. In fact, I had a week with no kids and limited adult interaction which was a much needed break and time to gather my thoughts. I also used that month to catch up with old friends.
Now I've returned to a place I lived over 15 years ago. I have a couple of friends who are still here, but there are so many new faces. Plus I'm meeting new people with my job.
New doors are opening, and I'm not sure I'm ready to walk through any of them.
I'm not missing anyone else. My heart isn't ready to love again yet. Getting to know someone is even a scary prospect. One day I will be willing to give away my heart again. But for now...
Since the beginning of this year, a theme has been repeating in my life: Do It Afraid. It was in my devotion this morning as well.
All semester I had to give presentations in front of my class. It didn't matter if there were 3 people or 15, my heart would start to race and words spilled out of my mouth faster than my mind could process them.
Each time I had to get up there and do it afraid. And each time I gave a presentation, it got a little bit easier.
Then I had to talk in front of a group of 30 for work. I could feel my heart racing yet again but tried my best to calm my nerves and talk loudly and clearly.
Next was a sewing workshop for a dozen kids. Like many things, I know enough about sewing to be dangerous...and to teach the basics. When I started talking, my heart was pounding. The words were jumbled in my head and coming out of my mouth. But when I got into the hands-on part, I was in my element. I'm teaching another workshop next week, so it must have gone better than I feared.
Now I've entered a time in my life where I must love afraid. It's scary to date again. It's scary to put myself out there and be vulnerable again. It's scary to kiss more frogs hoping this one might be my prince.
But if you don't put yourself out there, whatever it is, and do it afraid then you might miss out on a wonderful experience.
What are you willing to do afraid?
