Motivaion Monday {Yes, On a Tuesday}

Have you noticed how when you have a Monday off for a holiday that there's twice as much to do on Tuesday? Then it feels like the Monday you missed double teaming you with Tuesday.

Today was one of those days.

At work, letters that should have been sent last week suddenly needed to be sent today. I appreciate the vote of confidence to pull rabbits out of my hat, but there was no way to get everything done today. 

Added to that was the stress of class tonight that included a presentation. It was a rough weekend trying to decide if I really felt like finishing grad school instead of running away to join the circus. Grad school won, so I found myself scrambling to finish an assignment due today with my time off yesterday. I did manage to complete the assignment but felt like I was rolling into class on two wheels. 

It is easy to only post the good things that happen and pretend you don't struggle with any problems. But that's not how the real world works. Some days you just have to get up and put one foot in front of the other even when you don't feel like it. 

Loving Yourself {Is He Committed to You?}

You know that feeling of loss when a relationship ends that you thought was going somewhere? And suddenly you realize you were doing most or all of the work and he was reaping all the benefits. You continued to build the fantasy of your future together and he let you. Maybe he even encouraged you with phrases like "you are not like other girls I've dated" or "this is the best relationship I've ever had." In the end, he walked away. Or maybe you had to walk away because you realized he was NEVER going to commit to you.

In a blog titled The 'New' Side Chick, Miss T.N. King nails it. We've become a place holder until someone else comes along. It's time we love ourselves more and walk away from men who aren't good to us or for us.

Happy New Year!

It's that time of year when people reflect on the past year and set new goals. I set a few goals this past summer, so let's see how I did.

1. Restart something that has fallen by the wayside. I did start jogging again and ran a half marathon in October! I ran a 5K about a month after that. With the change in weather and the addition of some hip pain, I will have to rethink my exercise goal for 2015. I have started hiking with my boys and hope to continue that.

2. Make an improvement in your life that you've been meaning to do. Some weeks sorting the mail goes better than others. Sometimes I look and the basket is brimming over the top. I still have a couple of days before I return to work and hope to get the mail back to a manageable level.

3. Do something special for yourself. Running the half marathon was that something special I did for myself. During that first mile on the course, I remembered why I chose this challenge. It was something I could do for myself without needing a man to help me. Plus I had a weekend alone in a hotel room to relax. OK, I did spend some time writing a paper for class while I was there. Going back to grad school is another thing I have done for myself.

4. Spend time with friends. Unfortunately, spending time with friends has been challenging between school and work. Where I would normally have time for lunch, I had to rearrange my schedule a couple of days a week to be able to get to class on time. I still make time for my friends, but it has been more limited.

How did you do with reaching your goals this past year?

6-Months-No-Dating {Back to Your Regularly Scheduled Program}

If you give a man enough time, he will show you who he truly is.

Some show you sooner than others. It looks like most men in my life will show me within 3 months which is good because I'd rather not waste time.

My dude turned out to be a dud. He gave me an ultimatum the week before Thanksgiving that I wasn't willing to meet. Then he completely disappeared for a week and came back with a pitiful story about accidentally erasing my contact info while talking to his mom. It was so ridiculous!

Yet, I am the giver of 1,000 chances and allowed him to darken the doorstep of my office again.

I didn't go to lunch with him again, but he did text and stop by my office to talk. He offered to take me on a romantic dinner to apologize for his stupidity and offered to fix the brakes on my car.

But the truth about who he is came roaring forward, too loud to ignore. It turns out he was telling his same stories about his girls and how he helps people and about his trailer burning down to a girlfriend of mine. That is how it started with us. Building the story about how he is a good guy before inviting me to lunch.

That was enough truth for me to cut him and all his lies from my life. 

What I have learned is that my gut instincts are right if I will just listen to them. Those nagging feelings in the back of my mind were there for a good reason.

I started counting myself as single again that Monday the week before Thanksgiving, which means I've been single for a month now. I'm not putting a self-imposed, no-dating restriction this time. I will go with the flow and trust my instincts.

6-Months-No-Dating {Still Derailed}

So I guess this post isn't so much about not dating as when I started to blog. I'm not sure how much I learned in my few months of not dating. I do  have boundaries. I am struggling to keep them, but I am so far.

Everyone wants to matter to someone. It's hard to turn away from someone paying attention to you even when you can see that some things don't quite add up. And I wonder if I am leaving enough room for imperfections or too much room for bad behavior.

The truth always shakes out...eventually.

6-Months-No-Dating {EPIC FAIL....and I Don't Care}

A month ago I reached the halfway mark and thought I had broken my two-week cycle of getting out of something that felt like dating. 

Well, I was wrong. 

It started as lunch and grew into something more. But I decided not to buck things and just go with the flow.

Does this mean I gave up on God? Hardly. Does it mean I need a man more than God? Not at all. 

Honestly, I was struggling with an existential crisis. Turning 40 and not being where I want to be in life hit me harder than I would like to admit. I didn't want to be alone for my birthday (even though my friend and I didn't do anything super special for my birthday because I spent it with family). 

There are times in life when you want or need an actual person. I needed one and he was there. 

Am I using him? I would say no because I am genuinely interested in him. I couldn't spend much time alone with a guy unless I could see potential for more. Yet, there is some nagging feeling in the back of my mind that maybe I'm overlooking something I shouldn't. Maybe that's traces of the old relationship still lingering. 

Perhaps that tingling feeling is my subconscious telling my head what my heart doesn't want to hear. 

Motivation Monday {Mending a Broken Heart}

18 The Lord is close to the brokenhearted
    and saves those who are crushed in spirit. - Psalm 34:18

One day you wake up and that dull ache in your heart is gone. One day you realize you no longer miss them the way you used to. One day you realize that God has given you new hope

Thank you, God, that one day is finally here.