How Far Apart Is Too Far?

We are much closer than this. :)

It's a tough question to answer.

Are we talking about physical distance? I've only tried long-distance dating one other time before this relationship. Being three hours apart became too much back then. But when things went south, it provided a much-needed cushion between us.

This time around I am only and hour and a half away from my guy. Some days it might as well be three hours. One benefit is the distance makes us treasure the moments we do get to be together. The distance also keeps us from rushing things because we can't be with each other every free minute.

What about emotional distance? Maybe it's not so much distance as difference. People speak different love languages. Based on a quiz I took, I prefer acts of service and quality time. Sometimes the physical distance makes the emotional distance challenging. If your someone special speaks a different love language, it can be difficult to adjust to meet their needs. But adjusting is what we need to do for people we care about.

Then there's the issue of spiritual distance. Does your someone special view God the same way you do? The chances of seeing everything exactly the same are pretty slim. So how far apart on your beliefs can you be and remain together? That's the question I'm really struggling with today. I'm trying to be sure that I'm not reading more into things than is there...that I'm not chasing a rabbit down a hole.

How far apart is too far?

Are You Really Listening?

I feel like I'm being retested this week.

Last week I felt like God was saying, "Listen," and that I got the message to keep leaning in. But this week it's like I'm being tested again on the material covered last week. It's like God is asking if I really meant what I shared.

I do. Or I think I do.

Am I really failing that miserably that I need to be retested?

In a discussion this week with my mom, she reminded me that God is the only one we can count on. People will disappoint us. I assured her that I understood that but that I want my person - the one who holds me close at the end of a bad day. 

She reminded me that my person will still irritate or disappoint me just like she gets frustrated with my dad. Even after 43 years of marriage, there are bumps in the road. People get tired and tempers get short and feelings get hurt.

So am I turning to God when I'm lonely and scared and I can't reach my person?

Friday Reflections (Keep Leaning In}

This week I've been trying to focus on listening to the message God has been trying to send me. The message that I might have been missing because I have the next thing to do on my mind.

What is surprising is that it's not a new message.

Lean into God. Keep trusting God.

I know. It's not mind-blowingly profound but there is something beautiful about it's simplicity.

What is it we want from people? Someone to care and be there for us. Apparently, God wanted to remind me that He is always there. When you get stressed, overwhelmed, or worried, give it to God.

Honestly, I could use that reminder every day.

Motivation Monday {Listening to God}

...a wise man will listen and increase his learning, and a discerning man will obtain guidance— Proverbs 1:5

Has God been trying to send you a message and you aren't opening your ears to hear what it is?

It would be nice if God just flat out said whatever it was we were supposed to learn or do or tell us where we are going wrong.

Unfortunately, God doesn't come over a loud speaker and announce the plan for each day.

There's a passage in Mark that the preacher talked about on Sunday. Jesus is telling his disciples for the third time that he is going to die. What's on their minds? John and James don't respond to that annoucement but instead ask about sitting at his right and left in heaven.

How many times do we fail to hear what's being said because we're thinking of our next request for God? Or we are thinking about how what we have isn't quite how we envisioned it?

We need to listen more. It takes practice to get better.

When God Winks {Do It Afraid}

Since the beginning of this year, a theme has been repeating in my life: Do It Afraid. It was in my devotion this morning as well.

All semester I had to give presentations in front of my class. It didn't matter if there were 3 people or 15, my heart would start to race and words spilled out of my mouth faster than my mind could process them. 

Each time I had to get up there and do it afraid. And each time I gave a presentation, it got a little bit easier.

Then I had to talk in front of a group of 30 for work. I could feel my heart racing yet again but tried my best to calm my nerves and talk loudly and clearly.

Next was a sewing workshop for a dozen kids. Like many things, I know enough about sewing to be dangerous...and to teach the basics. When I started talking, my heart was pounding. The words were jumbled in my head and coming out of my mouth. But when I got into the hands-on part, I was in my element. I'm teaching another workshop next week, so it must have gone better than I feared.

Now I've entered a time in my life where I must love afraid. It's scary to date again. It's scary to put myself out there and be vulnerable again. It's scary to kiss more frogs hoping this one might be my prince. 

But if you don't put yourself out there, whatever it is, and do it afraid then you might miss out on a wonderful experience.

What are you willing to do afraid?

6-Months Later {And I'm Dating}

Last month I mentioned that I had created an online dating profile and met a couple of nice people. Well, one of those nice people and I have made a connection and started dating.

Honestly, I didn't expect it to go anywhere. He lives an hour and a half away and invited me for lunch or dinner since here works in my town from time to time.

The dating website said we weren't a good match. 

You answer a series of questions and based on your responses, the dating site tells you what percentage match you are with the other person. I had already turned down some other guys who looked nice enough because the numbers were below 50%.

Some things you can overlook. I don't like scary movies, but the other person might. That is something we can work around.

Other things are deal breakers. If the other person doesn't want a monogamous relationship, then I'm not interested in pursuing more with them.

But there was something there that the website didn't take into account...a human connection that can't be explained by answering questions or crunching numbers...a gut instinct. So, I decided to see where it will lead.

I didn't quite make it all 6 months with no dating, but I had already decided not to put that pressure on myself this time around.

Already this relationship has emphasized my need to just be. No schedules. No timelines. No pressure to reach milestones. 

Just relax and take a deep breath and just be in the moment.

Friday Reflections {Looking Back to Move Forward}

This has turned into a week of reflection.

I got to peer into a world of music and travel and hear about rubbing elbows with the rich and famous. Those things are appealing to a lot of people, but what made me smile the most this week is the prayers of my children, talking with old farmers, and making a new friend. I enjoy moments of glitz and glamor, but that is not how I want to live my life every day.

I went to the concert of an artist that I saw for the first time right after I moved here. I didn't realize it had been so long until they announced the date at the beginning of the show. It stirred up memories of all the things that have changed in the last 6 1/2 years.

I'm definitely in a better place emotionally. Those days where I barely had the strength to crawl out of bed to take care of my kids are long gone. Things that used to bother me don't as much any more.

I think I'm in a better place spiritually too although I still have a lot of room to grow. I have tried to maintain some daily quiet time to be renewed.

I'm in a better place physically. I am jogging on a regular basis and feel fit and healthy.

My mind is probably the only thing I was able to hang onto all this time. Although the cognitive dissonance at times between what was said and what was done frustrated me, my mind continuing to work helped me sort things out.

It's not the journey I would have chosen, but I can see that I am in a much better place.